Kickoff: Define The Relationship Week
Unless otherwise noted, these speeches and open letters were written for the Dean of Students of Biola University between 2011-2016.
Good Morning.
By the time you graduate from Biola, you will have spent thousands of hours with faculty, helping you develop your minds. You will have experienced hundreds of chapels and ministry opportunities, helping you develop spiritually. Biola has a mandatory PE requirement and dozens of intercollegiate and intramural sports teams, to help you develop athletically.
But when it comes to dating and relationships, well… you’re pretty much on your own.
An 18-month study by two researchers from University of Texas found that 83% of college women said that ‘being married is a very important goal for me,’ and 63% agreed that ‘I would like to meet my future husband in college.’
But, the study found, only 50% of college women seniors said they had been asked on 6 or more dates since coming to college, and 1/3 said they had been asked on 2 dates or less.
Te study found that young women and men more often ‘hang-out’ rather than going on planned dates, and if they live in a coed res hall, that is where they most often meet members of the opposite sex.
These women report that because they can hang out with a guy over a period of time and stillnot know if they are a couple, women often initiate ‘the talk’ in which they ask, ‘Are we committed or not?’ When she asks, he decides.
Yes, it’s the DTR.
In light of that,
For the next 5 days Biola is focusing on Relationships, in particular, Love and Romance.
We will "define the relationship" as we dive in to all things love---communication skills, a Biola dating crash course, dealing with the pain of rejection, a *free* opportunity to get out and mingle in the snow with the opposite sex, and of course, everything you've ever wanted to know about sex and relationships.
For example, did you know there is an Australian study that found that too many Jennifer Aniston movies are bad for a relationship? I am not joking.
So, things going on this week that we would love for you to engage in…
Today following chapel, stop by the mailboxes and enjoy our first ever, Love Fest. You can pick up a Valentines cupcake, participate in fun activities and sign up for events taking place throughout the week.
Tonight at 9:00pm in Calvary Chapel, we will be showing a free screening of the movie, Hitch.
We have 3 seminars this week to engage in, all 3 for Chapel Credit:
On Tuesday evening , will be Dating 101. This will bea practical, how-to on dating. Dr. Tim Muehlhoff will begin the time with a discussion based on his new book “Marriage Forecasting,” followed by a panel discussion/Q&A featuring Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff, Erik and Donna Thoennes, and Chris and Alisa Grace, etc. They’ll be talking about Casual Dating, Communication, Pursuing/Being Pursued, Waiting for Mr. Right, etc.
On Wednesday, we are hosting a discussion called Love Hurts-- Coping with Pain in Relationships: 7 p.m. in Calvary Chapel—When to move on, how to handle rejection, the loss of love, pain in relationships. Featuring Judy TenElshof, Kathleen Doyle, Keith Edwards and Kristen White.
On Thursday at 7 pm, there will be a Sex Seminar which will cover topics such as, Why do we think about sex the way that we do, what it’s for, when to have it, why to abstain, understanding Christian stigma, “spiritual virginity” and redemption. Featuring Jonathan Anderson, Gary Strauss, Gina Sunukjian and Jon Lunde.
Also, on Thursday will be our Boy Meets Girl event: 9 p.m. – midnight. on McNally Lawn—A co-ed mixer to encourage casual dating and “getting to know you”--- sledding with real snow on McNally grass, with hot cocoa and kettle corn.
So, the goal this week is to talk about things that we don’t talk about enough, and have a little fun in the process. I would encourage you to lean into it, learn something new this week.
Our speaker this morning is Dr. Tim Muehlhoff, associate professor of communication and author of the recently published book Marriage Forecasting: Changing the Climate of your Relationship One Conversation at a Time.
One thing I like about Tim is, when you talk to him, he looks at you in the eye, and listens carefully, paying attention to everything you have to say. Please welcome Dr. Tim Muehlhoff!
